The struggle with anti-Semitism is relatively new to me. Anti-Semitism isn't something that I experienced for most of my life. For the most part, I grew up in what I would describe as a pretty "normal" environment north of Boston and in central Connecticut. We are Jewish, but that never seemed like a factor I focused on, at least not in a negative way. I had lots of Jewish and non-Jewish friends growing up and went to a Jewish overnight camp. We celebrated the Jewish holidays. I had a Bar Mitzvah. My non-Jewish friends, I think, not only respected my religion but also enjoyed participating in it. I find myself lucky in that, until the past 10 or 15 years, I can't recall experiencing anti-Semitism.
Having lived in Chicago for a few years, my wife and I moved back to Boston's north shore when our oldest son, Evan, was turning 2. We settled in Marblehead, Massachusetts where we still live today. Marblehead is a small town. It's not an overly Jewish town as Boston suburbs go, but for years there were four synagogues in Marblehead and Swampscott (the neighboring town) all within a mile of each other (two have since merged). Our being Jewish in this area was never (and is still not) an issue that we think about. It's seems very similar to the towns I grew up in (for the most part Lynnfield, Massachusetts and West Hartford, Connecticut).
Being Jewish and being different became a factor in my life suddenly and without warning. Over time on this site I will get more comfortable sharing this particular experience and many others that I hope we can all learn from, but suffice to say it happened at my son's elementary school when he was in the third grade (not in Marblehead), it was shocking, and it was the result of a degree of ignorance I still don't fully comprehend.
Since then, through my kid's schools, I have experienced many forms of anti-Semitism. The Trump presidency and aftermath, the Kanye West saga, the constant hateful rhetoric spewing from elected officials, and other factors have made it more severe. My kids are on the receiving end of a wide range of comments made worse by the subtle reactions and microaggressions from members of the community who hear these stories ("no, that couldn't possibly have happened" or "no, that couldn't possibly be what was meant" or "but, he's such a nice boy"). I was sick to my stomach the first time I saw the Stop Jewish Hate public service announcement on television. I couldn't believe what I was watching and that this was happening in my community, to me and to my family.
I am not yet comfortable sharing the specific stories. Truthfully, I am not sure why. I'm just not there yet. I will get there over time. But, I share this brief introduction with you as we launch Hate Never Wins.
"Hate Never Wins" is something I have been saying to my kids for years. I say it each time we encounter anti-Semitism or any other form of hate. When we listen to the news, walk around our community, and witness or hear stories about attacks on women, the LGBTQ+ community, the Jewish community, the black community, or anyone else we remind ourselves that Hate Never Wins. It can't win, it won't win, it shouldn't win, and it will never win -- so long as we are doing something to stop it. I can't help but think about the line in the Lorax -- "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." Max (Hate Never Win's co-founder and my younger son) painted a rock that now sits in our backyard with the word "Unless" inscribed on it. Another reminder.
With that in mind it occurred to Max and me that recognizing and saying it, while important, wasn't enough. We actually had to do something. So, together, we have formed Hate Never Wins where we are going to talk about it, we're going to raise money to fight it, we're going to connect people and organizations to address it, we may put together educational programming to educate about it, and we're going to work together and with our community to end it. We are hopeful you will join us in our journey.
Together in ending hate,
Matt
